come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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