is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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