Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
