I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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