Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
