Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
