i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
