O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
