There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
