my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Randomize
