He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
