OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
