Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
