Do you still have your period?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
