Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
