Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
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