so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
