It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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