So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
