i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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