too bad you live with your parents still
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
