I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
