Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
