Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
