You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
