I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
