Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
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