The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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