I must be too annoying 4 u.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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