I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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