i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
