she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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