I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
