I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
