I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
