you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
