Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
