Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
FUCK WHALES
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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