That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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