I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
