who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
