Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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