i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
