when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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