I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
