Me too!
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
