I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The police scanner is talking about you again....
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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