This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
