Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
