I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
either way he was missing a nipple.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
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