Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
