I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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