Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
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